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Yaay! Our July blockbuster conversation, How Men Think, was a roaring success! Hosted at The Secret Garden, Accra, Ghana on the 15th of July, the event was opened by our global curator, Sydney Sam who welcomed the attendees: a diverse mix of creatives, entrepreneurs and professionals (in their 20's, 30's and 40's) and laid out the conversation guidelines. Needless to say, our moderators; Joshua, Idrys, Leslie and Zuu did a remarkable job in ensuring the flow of the conversation and audience engagement.
Our moderators: From the left; Leslie, Sydney, Idrys, Zuu and Joshua
So, what are some of the topics that intrigued our attendees? The list is long...However I will give you a sneak peek; wealth and power, stereotypes and toxic traits in men, relationships, the African man mental health, sexual gratification, competition in workplaces etc. With different movies, books trying to unravel the misery behind 'How Men Think', the event aimed at congregating different perspectives and opinions from both women and men in a bid to learn and unlearn.
The concept of ego among men is widespread. Especially when it comes to finances, some men are adamant on making more money than women. 'I can't date a women earning more than I am...', they say. A stereotype that our African society has continuously advocated for and has now become our culture, deeply ingrained into our system and passed-on from one generation to another.
Do men think in boxes ( a sex box, an emotion box completely independent of each other)? Is this why they are disengaged from their emotions? A heated conversation that attempted to explain why men are less attached to their emotions compared to women. Does this explain why men struggle to pick up non-verbal cues? or why men are naturally polyamorous? Let's reflect on that!
Openspacers at the 'How Men Think' event
More photos https://photos.app.goo.gl/DC62SCjAh3EQmyxCA
Some key takeaways we thought were important to share.
Why is his thinking different?
The cultural settings and upbringings of most men affect their thinking and their general outlook on life.
Moreover, "some men have their thinking influenced by how women perceive them… "Some men want a woman to look at them and think, "this is a real man”
These are however not the only limiting factors, but they play a significant role in the quality of men in our African society today.
Why too much credit?
“Women give men way too much credit”. Some women tend to assume that there is a deeper meaning to everything a man does. According to Joshua, “men are simple-minded.”
Men are not women
“When describing an ideal man, women tend to describe another woman….”. This is non-existent hence it’s important to understand a man from a man's perspective.
Change equals rebellion
Rebellion is necessary for change to happen. Men need to deviate from the societal and cultural norms…men are supposed to be that.., they are supposed to act like this.., etc.
Not emasculating
Men should be open-minded enough to be willing to learn from women without necessarily feeling emasculated. This concept should also be cultivated from a young age where young boys are taught for instance; how to talk to a woman, how to move on after a rejection, how to express their emotions.., etc.
A willingness to learn and unlearn should be highly regarded in our African community. Both men and women could learn a great deal from each other!
Choose your battles wisely..
Lastly, once we are equipped with information, decision-making is a choice. We decide whether to pursue a relationship that isn’t clearly going to work out or choose to move on. Sometimes, accepting that we are not able to commit hence no relationship would save us all whole lot of trouble.
Written by Margaret Mathenge